Feb 7 2012, miscarriage and life lessons.

One of my first thoughts when we confirmed my fears my sweet little Tyler had passed in utero was "what is this struggle going to teach me this time? What do I have to learn?"



So far I've learned I have so much control over my body, a lot of it is emotional, I knew that but I didn't believe it yet. my fears held me back.

I have spent my life reconciling what i know IS true and what I BELIEVE to be true. My beliefs leave me tortured, I ruminate and I get lost in my black and white thinking.

I have learned to instantly fall in love and bond.

I have learned to let go. It was so much more than letting go of my little one. I learned my mom doesn't have it in her to be the mom I need. But that is another post entirely.

I learned my body can go in labor on its own when it is ready.

I learned I wont be one of those moms who don't even know they were in labor.

I learned I could bond and fall in love fast if I reduced stressors in pregnancy like all the tests.

I have learned I really am strong.

I have learned to be vulnerable.

I am learnING to ask for help when i need it. but not consistently.

I have learned I need more help than I will ever ask for from others.

I have learned to face (some of) my fears.

I have learned to trust my body.

I am learnING to open up more to my husband.