ME! me me me!

there I said it.

This is my blog, essentially I am shearing my diary with you, these are the thoughts I think about but don't share, that I use to torture myself with, I need to write it down and share or those words take on a life of their own.

Negative and even positive judgements are welcome here I do not censor, as each person here was curious enough to drop by, and read, weather it be to tell me how horrible I must be or the ever less comfortable complimenting. I am by no means used to having support, even when I had it growing up, I could not ACCEPT IT for what it was. The negative messages won time and time again. I did little right from the things I heard. and even when I did right the compliments often had modifiers which made it less of a compliment and more of a back handed comment. Which would leave me confused and full of mixed emotions before I just disregarded the whole exchange but holding onto the negative part of it.

Earlier this week there was an exchange on something I was passionate about. I could go on and on about the catylist but that is not the point and very obvious if you go to the beginning of feb of this year on my blog. Taboo, in all its forms is a human rights issue. no matter what topic it's applied to. Taboo instills censorship. And shame on those who insist on maintaining the taboo.

Merely existing when people hate you is enough to think the worst in you. no matter what reality actually was. I've heard time and time again, there is THREE versions of reality, my version your version, and what actually happened.

like Adam says though " i reject your reality and substitute my own!"

I have more to say but need to reflect more and find words and get out of my dissociative funk.